Please consider the following:

Show you care, connect on a feeling level, listen.

  • “I’m concerned about you and noticed you haven’t been sleeping, eating, going to class, etc.”
  • “How are you feeling?”
  • Reflect back their feelings and paraphrase: “What I hear you saying is that you are in a great deal of pain and feel hopeless.”
  • “I’m glad you are speaking with me.”
  • Listen with respect. Individuals in distress want understanding and care.

Ask about suicide directly.

  • “Sometimes when people feel sad, they have thoughts of hurting or killing themselves. Have you had such thoughts?”
  • “Are you thinking of killing yourself?”
  • “Have you considered suicide?” “Do you have a plan?”
  • Remember, asking about suicide does NOT put the idea in people’s minds.
  • If a student answers that they are suicidal, or you are concerned that they may be, you MUSTcall the UMass Lowell Police Department(UMLPD) for a wellness check. You should not solely rely on emailing any Student Assessment, Referral, and Support (STARS) member or solely completing the STARS referral form for immediate action.

Get help. Explore options. Offer resources.

  • “What would help now?” “Who can help, who usually helps?” “How can I help?”
  • Get assistance. Avoid trying to be the only lifeline for this person. Seek out resources even if it means breaking a confidence.
  • “How would you feel about going to Counseling Services? Let’s call right now."
  • Complete the  STARS referral form and let the student know you are doing so in order to secure assistance for them.
  • Call extension 44-911 on campus or 978-934-4911 if this is an acute crisis. The Emergency Medical Technicians (EMTs) and University Police will respond immediately.

What Not To Do

  • Do not promise to keep the person’s thoughts of self-harm / suicide confidential.
  • Do not leave the person alone in cases of potential suicidal thoughts, or if the student is in crisis.
  • Do not offer simple solutions.
  • Do not dismiss their feeling or concerns.